An Eccentric I Know

An Eccentric I Know

      The idea of an eccentric immediately reminds me of him.Little known he may be to others, the mere mention of his name among his classmates including me, still conveys some kind of chilliness secretly through everyone's heart like a steel needle.
     Is he really so frightening? Does he look like a beast or does he ever behave mad? On the contrary, he looks moderate, and he only likes sleeping in class. But that's the problem! Tortured by terrible rhinitis, afflicted by lasting headache, discriminated against by teachers, and worshipped by other foresighted souls,he remains a mystery.
      Why? You may ask. The answer lies in two aspects, his words and his achievements. He always boasts himself to be an extraordinary man, reaching up to the so called "fourth" level that only A.  Einstein and Dr.  Freud have attained.  He says when he was only 15 he could see through the sophisticated society, he could tell the true meaning of life which had puzzled generations of philosophers, he could understand the universe and the essence of natural laws, and he could, in his words, "feel" the world, or to be more exact, "perceive" the world. And he also feels that  as  time goes by,  with increasing association with the numb and blunt, his intuition and wisdom are fading
      Words are not that terrible. See what he has done. He neyer stays clear minded in class, and seldom finishes assigned homework, but was able to win a second prize in the national 0lympic contest of biology and achieve pretty high score in the NMET without hard work.
      He is now still living in his own fantasy. Genius or kook,only time can tell.

简  评
    作者生动地描述了身边的一个怪才，从两方面表现了此人的与众不同之处。首先是他出人意料的豪言壮语，其次是他轻而易举取得的好成绩，勾勒出一个自视甚高，但确有聪明才智的张扬少年的形象。如果作者能在文中增加一些行为举止的描写，该怪才的形象会更加丰满。
    作者较好地运用了一些排比句型(parallel structure)，如第二段中的Tortured by terrible rhinitis，afflicted by lasting headache，discriminated against by teachers，and worshipped by other foresighted souls，he remainsa mystery．和第三段中宾语从句的并列，使文章读起来朗朗上口，增强了感染力。但文中有几处意思表达不清楚。如第一段中the mere mention Of hisname among his classmates including me，still conveys some kind of chilliness secretly through everyone'  heart like a steel needle读来非常晦涩，不如改为the mere mention Of his name inspires awe among his classmates including me。第四段中Wordsare not that terrlble．到底是什么意思?不如表达得更明确一点：What he has done is even more unexpected．
    (点评教师：赵蓉)

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